4 Ways I Learned How To Deal With Uncertainty And Doubt From My Cosmetologist
Clare grew up in Dallas, Texas and at the age of 39 has done quite well for herself.
Clare manages a department of 100 people or so in a large advertising company and is an admired leader to most. She makes an above average salary for the position, but she has never let it go to head. Her bragging is all focused around her team not herself because she’s proud of how hard they work and support each other.
Clare you could say, “Had It All” but there were doubts and uncertainty always popping up in her thoughts.
When Clare was a young girl growing up, she enjoyed going to the Salon with her mother Becky.
What she always looked forward to the most was being pampered by the Cosmetologist Wendy. Who made her feel like she was the only person Wendy cared about with the mission to bring her beauty out for the whole world to see how special she was. Wendy always seemed to be so happy and full of life unlike most other people.
As she sat there, they would talk about all kinds of fascinating topics some of which she didn’t understand. Never-the-less the thing Clare remembered and was impressed with the most about Wendy was that she listened more than she talked. Like what Clare was saying was important to her and she cared.
Those were cherished times that Clare would look back on to make her smile because even though it seemed to others, she had it all. She was feeling like something wasn’t right, something was missing, and she wasn’t quite sure of what.
Finally, she had come to her wits end with the constant thoughts of doubt and uncertainty and decided to contact Wendy to see if they could have a talk. Clare and Wendy who was in her early 60s now met on a beautiful Sunday afternoon in the park near the church Wendy attended.
And just like before the Cosmetologist was happy and full of life just as she had remembered. She sat there listening to every word that came out of Clare’s mouth like she was the only person in the world.
Then after a while Clare looked up with tears in her eyes, a concerned face and asked, “What do you think?”
Wendy with her calm pleasant demeanor replied, you know my mom was a very loving and wise Christian woman and opened my eyes to several ways to deal with life.
4 Ways I learned How To Deal With Doubt And Uncertainty
1 - You can’t control it all…
My mom, Erica, always told me life is full of surprises, some good, some bad. When it seems like what is a bad situation presents itself in your life don’t automatically react to it.
That’s how your brain works, it reacts to things without much thought. It’s wired to keep you safe so you can survive but you don’t have to always react immediately you can slow things down.
So, stay calm and just think for a minute about what’s really going on. Ask yourself questions: Where did this issue come from? What triggered it? Was it emotions, or some external influence? What am I feeling right now and why? Most of the time it’s fear of the unknown that’s controlling your thoughts.
Then she would tell me, “God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7
2 - Besides God Our Minds Are The Most Powerful Things In The Universe
Mom would tell me what consumed my thoughts every day would eventually create my reality. If all I thought about was how terrible my life was and how I hated school or my job then that’s what I would get more of,
But if I thought about positive things like how I loved myself and life these things would begin to materialize physically around me.
Repetitive thoughts create habits, your habits eventually create your beliefs, and these newfound beliefs become the foundation and structure of who you are. And that is the person the world and others see.
Always be thankful for what you have and don’t worry so much about what you don’t.
“He who trusts in his own wisdom to guide him through life is a fool. He is casting his anchor inside the boat, and thus will drift incessantly. The one who looks to the Lord for guidance acts wisely.” Proverbs 28:26 paraphrased
3 - Ruling factors over life are love and happiness
If you decide you can do something about the situation then do it, take some kind of positive action. If it’s out of your control coming from the outside of you don’t worry things usually turn out for the best.
Worry will only bring forth doubt and doubt will create the anxiety and uncertainty instead of what you should be doing.
Live a happy fulfilled life. You can do this by creating the habit of happiness. Just like any other habit it depends on your thoughts and repetition.
When you wake up in the morning before getting out of bed choose to be happy and loving that day. If you don’t the doubt, worry, and fears of the day before will consume your thoughts of the present day.
Not only choose but make it a declaration of your life, declare that you will be happy and loving and no person or situation will steal them from you, period. They will become your beliefs and who you are.
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28
4 - Life is made up of choices
When something happens in your life it triggers a physical or emotional stimulation of some kind. This stimulation triggers a reaction depending on how your brain perceives it, interprets it, and judges it. So, between that stimulation you have a short period of time to make a choice of how you will react to it, good or bad.
Stimulus – CHOICE – Reaction
It’s all left up to you, if you fail to take action and don't stop to think about the situation at hand it will go to your brain's default. And your subconscious will make the choice for you and react spontaneously…
Clare left her meeting with Wendy a little bit confused and exhilarated at the same time. Wendy talking about what her mom Erica had told her while growing up seemed a little bit well, out there.
Kind of crazy sounding at the time but the more she thought about it, it began to excite here and make sense. This maybe a solution to her problem. There’s Hope…
So, Clare started putting into practice what Wendy had told her and within a couple of months she began to see some changes in her attitude and feelings towards her job and especially towards other people.
Had the uncertainty and doubt completely vanished, no.
But Clare was living a happier fulfilled life, now.
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1
You can be all you were meant to be so, don't give up!